tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869382044359070211.post702802400610186502..comments2023-11-02T07:02:05.836-07:00Comments on Day By Day with RA: A hurting girls wordsBusy Mom!http://www.blogger.com/profile/14820726555469126290noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869382044359070211.post-1706698657490693932013-12-14T15:50:08.181-08:002013-12-14T15:50:08.181-08:00This is in response to "A Hurting Girls Words...This is in response to "A Hurting Girls Words". I have had RA almost twenty years now and the pain remains the same but my acceptance has changed and there is healing in acceptance. I read your post and I wanted to share my experience with you in hopes that it might give you hope. My two daughters were nine and eleven when I was diagnosed and our lives changed forever. I went into a severe depression for years following the diagnosis and my children suffered because of it. I did not know how to accept something that was so awful but with time I have come to appreciate my good days and even some of the bad. I thought I was doing all the right things. I got us all into family counseling so that my daughters could talk about their feelings but years later I learned that they just wanted me to be present with them. I tended to isolate in those days and hide away in my room. I found out they would have preferred me to curl up on the couch and be there with them no matter what shape I was in. I also learned that even though I didn't want to be touched and kept my distance, all they wanted was to be close. I wish I would have allowed them to be near me more. On the up side, one of my daughters grew into a very compassionate woman as a result of watching me and she now works with children with cancer in a hospital setting. My other daughter just received her Masters Degree in Library Science but she had a difficult time as she has suffered from an anxiety and panic disorder which started just about the same time I got sick. I know if I would have accepted my fate better, I might have been able to model a brave, courageous mother instead of one that was lost, frustrated and confused. She needed me to be strong, I needed me to be strong. I feel I let us both down. But the good is that we are never too old to learn. So even though it hurts when I cannot let my three year old granddaughter be near, I make time for us in other ways, and she understands. I try not to say "no" too often and I make sure someone else takes her to the park as I cannot push a swing anymore, but there are many other things we can do to show how much we love them. Yes, I know how much it physically hurts and it is okay to cry but life still has many wonderful moments in store for you. I know you are grieving for the person you once were but I assure you you are becoming something greater. The universe has given you a reason to be strong, courageous and wise beyond your years. There is a gift in this challenge, but you have to accept it before you can fully see it. God Bless!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869382044359070211.post-84812553905916735002013-11-24T09:45:34.499-08:002013-11-24T09:45:34.499-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02468205929278857935noreply@blogger.com