Tuesday, October 25, 2011



This is what they say I need to do to feel more comfortable. I have a few problems with this as it does not fit in with my family and life as it is. 

"Gentle" exercise: My energy has been zapped by my evil archenemy "RA" it leaves no room for "gentle" exercise. Also, I have 2 boys and "gentle" is not in their vocabulary. My one year old wears me out fast. Chasing him is enough to make me cry (and laugh because he is a joy).

"Rest as needed" again this is something that is hard to modify. I work 47 hours a week, sometimes more. I need a job to keep a roof over my families head. Work does not allow me to "rest as needed". Neither does my husband or kids. They cannot comprehend the need for Supermom needing help all the sudden.

"Pace yourself" Don't try to do it all! LOL! I have to do it or no one else will.  I do not have time to "Pace Myself" or I will not do it. 

"Reduce Stress" Really? I wish. Everyday is a trial. Everyday is another stress. Reducing stress? I try to breathe, I try to think is this going to matter tomorrow? Is this worth feeling this way? 
My Pain brings more stress!!! 

"Sleep" Well I try and try and try to get enough sleep and I can't. I toss and turn as after a short period on my left side I have to flip to my right, as I flip my knee or shoulder catches bringing more pain. Then I start thinking what I need to get done the next day, decide when it would be best to do things as some are easier at different times of the day. Then I lay there thinking about this thing that is taking my life over. And well lets just say Slumber land does not come easy. 

I am sure that all these would help. Yes I am not debating that. It is just that most of these take a lot more energy than I have or are not possible in my life currently. 

Bottom line...I get out of bed everyday in pain, tired, and hoping to get through the day without everyone noticing that I am miserable. I do this for my boys. Currently. I would do anything for my kids and if fighting my own body to get out of bed each day is what I need to do I will. I only can hope that someday I will do it for myself too. That I will not feel the need to wallow in it. That I will be able to once again jump out of bed and think Today will be great!

So until I can figure out a way to make these "modifications" happen I will continue to make the changes I can and hope that one day I can do more. 

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