Friday, May 18, 2012

Getting the ugly out...

Having an autoimmune disease has changed me. It has made me slow down among many other things. I have lost control over what I can do and what I want to do. I have lost strength and I am not talking about physical though yes I have lost that too. I am talking about mental, emotional and spirtual strength. I am talking about what's inside. Having a chronic illness has given me the opportunity for reflection and self realization. Which I have realized I have ignored and need an overhaul. Feeding your soul is very important. It will help me feel at peace with myself. It will help me embrace life and accomplishments. Some things that I feel will help:

  • writing about my experience and letting others know what I am going through is painful but helpful, it has given me an outlet to express my feelings I normally would not. It helps me release the ugliness inside
  • Reading inspiring blogs and books. Hearing other's stories, feelings, and guidance I feel will help me feel not so alone
  • Taking "me" time, being a mom of 2 boys leaves me very little "me" time. I need this. I will use this time to watch chickflicks, happy movies, and inspiring ones.
  • Seeking help. I feel that I do need counseling to deal with the life altering changes I have been given. I need the extra support and someone to help guide me to inner peace
  • I am going  to go back to church, prayer and know this will help. Even before I was sick it felt good to go. I felt better. 
  • I am going to learn meditation and hopefully yoga. I need to learn how to react to stress better, to keep the poison out of me. I need to channel. I need to gain control and feel that this will bring me closer. 

These are just ideas that I am implementing and hope they bring me closer to being at peace with myself and my disease. If you have any additional that you have found helpful please comment! All ideas are appreciated! Day by Day!! 


  1. I am not so far along in this journey myself, having been diagnosed about a year now. However, I have begun to recognize that when my disease flares, it impacts my emotions and thoughts as much as it does my body. In fact, sometimes my first symptom of an oncoming flare is that sense of helplessness in the face of doom and gloom that hits me. I used to chastise myself for not being able to better control my emotions. I felt broken, disappointed in myself because I had always been an optimistic person. Now when it hits, I realize those emotions and thoughts aren't "me." I realize that they will go away just as the hardest pain will, too, when the latest flare goes away. After reading Toni Bernhard's HOW TO BE SICK, I learned to think of those times as winds or waves that blow through. They blow in and they'll blow out again.

  2. Linda,
    Thanks! When I read this I was excited. I can do that! I am also going to find the book! I totally struggle with the helplessness and the bitterness. I think that the waves or winds way to look at emotions will work!

  3. Yes! This! All of this! It's been so hard adjusting to a world where I need to rest every day, where I couldn't open a pickle jar even if I were starving, and where I have to cancel my hiking trip to Peru next summer because I'm so new into my journey will all of this R.A. mess that I'm hesitant to make payments towards a trip I might not be healthy enough to make. Thank you for all of your wonderful ideas about how to stay positive and take care of ourselves!

  4. I really suck at meditation! My mind moves too much!

  5. Next year it will be 10 years of my diagnosis. I had RA for about 3-4 years and the years after I only helped my body heal itself... What I did was a 3 month acupressure treatment with a Naturopath and I follow the pH Diet. I know it sounds too simple or too new age, but if you are like I was - I tried everything I could to at least feel a little better, but I found a way to not only be ok but completely be cured! Next year I will be 39, I was diagnosed so young at 29... and I was told by my doctor that I had the worst type of RA so I will be in a wheel chair by the 10th year, instead I will be running a marathon in celebration and knowing all is possible! I wish you the same :)