When you become sick, you lose control of so many things in your life that used to be simple. This is frustrating and overwhelming. I was never one that needed help, support and guidance from others. I was the one people went to for these things. I am having a very hard time adjusting to being the needy one. It is the worst feeling to ask for help. It is the worst feeling to want something and not get it because it means moving. I struggle asking for help. I just keep doing things I cannot do. This gives the impression that I am fine and feeling good, even when I am not. Then I pay for days. My body cannot do what I once did before. It seems that each day it can do less and less. This makes me more needy and Dang it, I do not want to be that person.
Recently, things happened where I was forced to ask for more help. This leaves me feeling guilty. I hate that too! :( Some people really jumped in and were a great help. Of course I appreciate every bit of help. I just don't want to feel useless. I don't want to think that I cannot do the everyday things anymore. I want to be able to do them and feel good. Or even OK. People shy away from neediness. It scares people. I am figuring out how to balance it. How to be OK with it and how to ask for help when I need it. Having an invisible illness makes it more difficult. Some people say "did you take your meds" others say "take an aspirin" or "moving will ease it" and I just have to sigh, remind myself they have no idea what I feel like and move on. It is so hard to get people to understand. Any advice?
Then I have to turn around the conversation and talk about the neediness of others. While I love to be needed I feel that some have unrealistic expectations on what I can do and what I do do. (LOL I said do do) This leads to resentfulness which is not pretty! it adds to the ugliness I am trying to rid! I also need advice on how to handle this!
I appreciate your time and look forward to hearing your advice!
